Meltdown
On Sunday morning, we woke up early (with the light) around 5:30 or so. We were planning on going to church, and I knew that we would need to walk. Grace told me that it normally takes her and her girls 30-40 minutes to walk it. The church is about 4km away or so. She thought it might take me nearly an hour and a half to walk. Most whites/non-blacks tend to own vehicles and drive everywhere, so the common belief is that we simply couldn't manage. So I told Grace that I'm sure it wouldn't take nearly as long as she thought and that I would be ok. We ended up planning for about an hour and made it there in about 45 - 50 minutes. I think she was quite surprised.
Their church has been unable to afford a roof yet. So they've got this little shelter made of branches which covers the first few pews in the church. However, in a pouring down rain, that wouldn't be enough to keep everyone dry. So we ended up in a very small building next door. There were an awful lot of us crammed into that tiny space. As soon as the service was over, it stopped raining.
We walked back home and Grace and the girls started fixing lunch. All of the sudden, I had the most terrible homesickness. I wasn't even sure why. The entire family was being extremely nice to me. At first it was just a few tears here and there that I could surreptitiously wipe away. After a while, the youngest girl noticed some of the tears. I went inside and wiped them away and tried to pull myself together. But really, it just kept getting worse. I continued to try to talk myself out of the homesickness. It didn't work.
Finally, Grace wanted to show me how to make nshima, which is the corn meal paste that is the staple food for most Zambians. She looked at my face and noticed the tears. Of course she was concerned and asked me what was wrong. That is when it all broke loose and I started sobbing. "I miss my family!! I'm so homesick!" Poor Grace thought that she and her family had done something to upset me. In reality they had only shown me kindness. I tried to make that clear to them, but I think they were a bit skeptical at first. Eventually, they believed me that it had nothing to do with them and that they had not upset me at all.
So after a while, I got settled down and enjoyed lunch and the afternoon. I took a bit of a nap and sent some text messages. However, I wasn't feeling well physically, so that still colored my day darkly. The next morning, still not feeling great, I went out with Andrew to see the hospital and some other things around town. We stopped at Rick and Tracey's house on the way. He's a pilot with FMZ. Andrew was going to visit one of his cousins for a few minutes while I visited with Tracey. The minute I walked into their house, I started bawling again!!! It was good to get it all out! After about 10 minutes, Andrew came to pick me up again. I took some Immodium, drank some cold water, and life suddenly seemed much better. Later I realized that EVERYTHING was so completely new and unfamiliar to me that my mind was simply struggling to keep up with it all.
The rest of my visit with Grace and her family was absolutely marvelous.