the gift of Gab

I'm not much of a romance novel girl. I would rather read a good mystery or an international intrigue. However, I just finished reading Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers and highly recommend it to everyone who has ever questioned God's unconditional and unending love. He can, and will, transform us from filty whores into His beautiful bride.

Here's what the back cover says: Sold into prostitution in childhood, Angel is a bitter young woman who trusts no man. But when God tells Michael Hosea to marry her, she learns to love and hope---until fear overwhelms her and she returns to her former life. Can she be redeemed? A skillful retelling of the biblical story of Gomer and Hosea, set amid the California gold rush.

In the book of Hosea, the prophet is told by God to marry a prostitute more or less as an object lesson for the nation of Israel (and us). Hosea offers her at beautiful, blessed life. But Gomer continues to be unfaithful to him and to return to prostitution, just as the people of Israel (and we) insisted on living in sin and disobeying God. Not just once, but over and over again.

Just as Hosea continued to go back for Gomer, inspite of her failings, God continues to rescue us - because of His unending love for us. His greatest desire is for us to accept the fabulous life He intends for us. Look at what he says in Hosea 2:14-15:

14 "But then I will win her back once again.
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her there.
15 I will return her vineyards to her
and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope.

Continue reading "Redeeming Love" »

Posted by Gabi at 10:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Recently, I was convicted by the Holy Spirit about focusing too much on the future. I've been so obsessed with getting to Zambia, that I haven't really bothered to live in the here and now. So I've started doing more things in my church. I was already involved with the choir/praise team and the missions committee. Now I've added being involved with children's ministries and with the Operation Christmas Child (Shoeboxes) as well as participating in a women's Bible study. I'm enjoying all of it and the people that I am getting to know better.

I try to justify my behavior by saying that I had two jobs (lawfirm and support raising). And to some degree, that was a good reason not to be as involved as I could have been. However, it really has more to do with being so single-minded and looking ahead that I forgot to remember today.

So now, I am enjoying today and all that it has to offer. And I am enjoying volunteering at the church during the week, as well as completing all I need to do for my departure to Zambia.

However, there are still days when I feel a little "homesick." Today was one of those days. I really am excited about to moving to Lusaka. One of the things I want to do most is dance at church! My body is German, my demeanor and my passport are American, but my soul - my soul is African. Always has been.

I want to be home. So, this evening, I allowed myself a quick glimpse. See for yourself. Who wouldn't want to be part of that?

Posted by Gabi at 10:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Tonight in the "Care to Connect" class I'm taking at church, I realized something important. The teacher pointed out that depression is really just anger turned inward. Since I've been depressed recently, I started wondering what I was angry about. That's when it dawned on me that I'm going through the five stages of grieving.

I very genuinely believed that God would have me in Africa for my birthday and Christmas. Obviously that's not going to happen, since today is my birthday and Christmas is just around the corner. And I'm not in Zambia. I was certainly in denial about when I was getting there. Then I became angry. For the past several days I've been terribly depressed.

So it finally got through my head that I'm grieving the fact that I'm not in Africa by the time I thought I should be there. Turns out I've already gone through most of the stages. Maybe, now that I realize what's going on, I can skip ahead to acceptance.

Posted by Gabi at 7:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)